CIA Recruitment

 

CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews
and testing were done there were three finalists…two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your
instructions, no matter what the circumstances.
Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!"

The man said, "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went
into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out
with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife." The agent said,
"You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to
kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were
heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on
the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and
there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This
gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral: Don’t mess with women.

 

 

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A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question….

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don’t you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn’t you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I’d get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it’s a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I’m sure she’d want her own."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she’s left-handed."

WIFE: — silence —
HUSBAND: "sh*t."

 

 

😛

Credit http://www.khwai.com